Shaylogo





That Integrity Thing

November 13, 2005

in-teg-ri-ty (n-tgr-t)
n.
1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.
[Middle English integrite, from Old French, from Latin integrits, soundness, from integer, whole, complete; see tag- in Indo-European roots.]

In relating great frustration about a major task to which I had committed, I noted that I felt like dropping the ball entirely, but that I had essentially promised I would see it through, and so I would. The implication was that I wished I were able to do what I felt like doing, instead of what is right. The person to whom I was speaking asserted, "It's that integrity thing." I responded with a humorous, "It is a cross I must bear." But she was right.

It is "that integrity thing" that kept me committed to my commitment even when it was becoming clear that the task--hosting a public event--would be heavily undermined by a supervisory person who seems to have it in for me. I followed through on my commitment and accepted the supervisor's defeat of me regarding the event, but I kept true to myself, a much more important success.

The other day I received a friend's letter of recommendation that I had requested for my files. After a list of some of the abilities and accomplishments she had observed, my friend stated that the quality she admires most in me is my integrity. I wrote back that my integrity is my pride, and thanked her for recognizing it.

I fought long and hard to be come integrated--to find my integrity and make myself into a person who largely lives according to her deepest values. Foster C. McCellan instructs us to "Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life." If not for integrity, I would not be whole or real, or true to myself. I would not like myself or be proud of who I am.

What would I be without my integrity? Not much. This is why I guard it carefully, considering it foremost when choosing words and deeds. Maintaining my integrity is my prime directive.

© 2005 Shay Seaborne. All rights reserved.

Back to Shay's Personal Experience Articles