Let’s take a few moments to ponder the Enneagram Personality System‘s description of the two modes of being: Direction of Integration = Growth; and Direction of Disintegration = Stress.
I was talking about this concept with a friend last week. I said that “integrity is when one’s outer actions align with one’s inner beliefs/principles and that brings wholeness and wellbeing. Stress is generated when one’s actions are out of line with one’s beliefs and principles.” Now I add to my picture that action out of line with beliefs and principles equals the opposite of integration: dis-integration or disintegration, one’s falling apart.
Bottom line: it feels good to do what I know is right, especially when doing so is a challenge, like when responding to someone who is acting out of disintegration.
When someone treats me badly, I try to focus the fact that it says a great deal more about their character than it does about me. I focus on maintaining my integrity, determining that I will not let their dis-integration make a negative effect on my conduct, on who I choose to be.
You are what you do.
(c) 2010 Shay Seaborne. All rights reserved.